I don’t believe in soul mates

soul mate

While out with the boys on Sunday, my quiet (sort of) stroll by the water and soaking in the sunshine was interrupted by two young women. They were bubbly and animated and deep in conversation about how lucky they are to have found their one true soul mate. They went on and on and on about how lucky they are to have found “the only person meant for them”.

As I muffled gagging sounds and out-loud eye rolling, I began thinking about something.

It’s a big call to make, but I’m making it.

I don’t think I believe in soul mates.

Maybe I believe in finding your perfect match but I don’t believe we each have one true soul mate.

Think about it for sec. There couldn’t possibly be just one person on the whole of the planet that we are meant to be with. Our perfect pair. The other half of ourselves. The Yin to our Yang. The cake to our coffee. The Giggle to our Hoot. The Cone Bra to our Madonna. The stupid squinty dazed look to our Bieber.

Nope. I don’t buy it. 

Finding the one true soul mate? That is pretty bloody lucky. How did these girls do it? Do soul mates have internal GPS’s leading each person to the other? Was it an epic game of Marco – Polo? Or was it old school orienteering with a torn map, a canteen of pond water and a plastic compass?

Think about it. What if we really, truly only did have one fated other. What are the chances that we would all find each other? What if my soul mate lives in a cave in a dessert somewhere far, far away? What if my soul mate sunk his boat and is living on a tiny island somewhere with only a ball named “Wilson” for companionship? What if my soul mate is actually Prince Harry or David Beckham or Channing Tatum or Will Smith but they’re too busy wasting their time with others, not realising that it’s been me all along?

We can’t seriously be destined to be with that one and only soul mate. We couldn’t possibly all find each other and if that was the case, wouldn’t there be a bunch of people who gave up searching for that one person and just settled with the next best thing?

Just one? I don’t think so.

And what about those people we hear of, that spend years and years patiently searching for “the one”. What happens if 38 great potential partners have passed them by, each missed because they were so blinkered by their search for “the one”?

I have a friend, who after around 25 years of marriage ended up making the life changing decision to end her marriage. A while later she met and fell in love with a man from France. He, she told me, was the love of her life. But it didn’t work out. He couldn’t move here and she couldn’t move there. So it ended. He could have been her one and geography kicked them in the ass.

I have another friend who has been married for around 10 years to a wonderful guy who is her perfect match. They make it look effortless. They make you believe in love and happy endings and all that drivel. They can also make you feel slightly depressed when you’re sitting in your oversized daggy PJ’s alone on a Saturday night with a piss tasting Lean Cuisine and re-runs on Netflix for company…..

Obviously I have a shithouse track record with relationships and quite obviously pick the wrong people. I’m a slow learner it would seem. And while I am not after a relationship at the moment, I would like to think that instead of there just being only one soul mate for everyone, there is a multitude of people out there with the same loves and passions and hopes, who compliment my best qualities and know how to cope with my worst ones 😉 I believe we can all find someone (or more) who feels perfect to us. We just need to cross paths.

Am I just still a little burnt from the “adventure” that was my marriage? Am I now a cynic? Or am I onto something here?

And if I’m not, what does one pack when moving into a cave?

Do you think there is only one true soul mate for us all?

K xxxxx




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